


Drano is Better than Lye

by Avery42



Series: Heathers AU's Headcanons [2]
Category: Addams Family - All Media Types, Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Addams Family, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Headcanon, Implied/Referenced Murder, Implied/Referenced Torture, Misunderstandings, Multi, Pining, Protective Heather Chandler, Protective JD, Slow Burn, Unintentional attempted murder as unintentional flirting, yes both of those
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 09:47:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21251390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avery42/pseuds/Avery42
Summary: Heather can’t believe they just tried to murder her. No one has ever been so forward with their flirting before!





	Drano is Better than Lye

**Author's Note:**

> So this was the second head-canon we made and the one that really kicked off the whole list. It started as we we’re talking about Hannibal/Addams family crossovers and found out there is a sub-genre of those that are also crossed over with Harry Potter. That in itself isn’t too strange, Harry Potter crossovers and Fusions exist for basically everything. The thing was, one of these fics had another fandom tag: Heathers (1988). I can no longer find the fic, nor were there any references to Heathers up to the point it had been written, but it certainly left me with ideas -Avery42

  * Heather Chandler is a member of the Addams family
  * She doesn't drink hangover cures to cure hangovers as she can't get hungover, she just likes the taste
  * When JD has Veronica serve her a cup of Drano, she initially likes the taste asking what it is
  * Doesn’t keel over until they tell her it’s Drano, then she tries to fake her death. Badly. Full hognose snake.
    * *opens one eye* “I’m dead, you can leave now”
  * Joins JD in the plot to murder Kurt and Ram after they try and date rape with Veronica and Mac, telling them she knows the best places to hide bodies. JD and Veronica are like "what?" While Duke and Mac are like yeah that's true. They know this because David and Brad are no longer issues
    * Veronica doesn't want to do anything about it and tells them no
  * Chandler doesn’t actually know how to play rugby, but Mac still puts her on the field cos she doesn’t get concussions.
  * Heather takes the murder attempt as attempted flirting from Veronica and JD, absolutely delighted.
    * She doesn’t actually know that “being nice” to people is mutually exclusive with “putting the fear of god” in them and that’s why she is the way She Is.
    * After the whole scene she runs over to talk with Duke and Mac about "How something wonderful just happened" and they're "did someone try to mug you again" "No" they check the paper "was there a murder" "No, well, maybe an attempt."
  * Heather’s parents are WAY weirder than her - her dad made his fortunes investing in scarab breeders - but they’re both currently incarcerated on fraud charges thanks to the aforementioned mysterious fortune. Heather calls them every weekend.
    * They’re VERY excited when she calls them about the two cuties flirting with her.
  * Chandler says fuck me gently with a chainsaw, not understanding the implications or the fact that most people wouldn't survive it
  * Veronica later learns the best recipe for arsenic laced chocolate chip and mealworm cookies - they’re Heather’s favorite


End file.
